Dating violence

Studies have indicated that adolescent girls are often in abusive relationships at the time of their conceiving They have also reported that knowledge of their pregnancy has often intensified violent and controlling behaviours on part of their boyfriends. Women under age 18 are twice as likely to be beaten by their child's father than women over age 18. A UK study found that 70% of women who gave birth in their teens had experienced adolescent domestic violence.Similar results have been found in studies in the United States. A Washington study found 70% of teenage mothers had been beaten by their boyfriends, 51% had experienced attempts of birth control sabotage within the last year, and 21% experienced school or work sabotage

In a study of 379 pregnant or parenting teens and 95 teenage girls without children, 62% of the girls aged 11-15 years and 56% of girls aged 16-19 years reported experiencing domestic violence at the hands of their partners. Moreover, 51% of the girls reported experiencing at least one instance where their boyfriend attempted to sabotage their efforts to use birth control.

Violence in Pregnancy

Experiences of violence are common for women and affect pregnancy and childbearing in a myriad number of ways. How a woman may be affected is as individual as she is and depends on the type of violence she experienced, for what duration, what type of support she received at the time and continues to receive and numerous other factors. It is important that women know that they are not alone as it is essential that caregivers, nurses, doulas, therapists, social workers, policy makers, police and others become actively involved in educating themselves on how to best support women who are victims or survivors of violence in their lives. The silence that surrounds childhood sexual assault, incest, intimate partner violence, woman abuse and systematic oppression needs to be broken in order for healing to take place. This wiki is an avenue for speaking up and out as it is a tool for those who wish to educate themselves and contribute to the growing body of information on how to optimally ensure the health and well-being for mother and child when violence and abuse are or have been present in their lives.

Not only can violence escalate during pregnancy, it can begin during a pregnancy or even in the postpartum period. Some women experience traumatic births that include interventions such as episiotomies they didn't want or felt weren't needed. Past traumatic experiences with childhood sexual abuse or rape may resurface during the childbearing year and be triggered by multiple sources. It may not be easy for the survivor to understand where her feelings are coming from, especially if she blocked out the memory of the event.

In considering these dynamics, what can be done by women and those who support her to ensure the best possible outcomes?

A woman can find a caregiver that she is comfortable with and feels respected by. This may mean speaking to a few or changing an established physician/midwife if they are not willing to be flexible and work with her. Ideally, if she found a caregiver that she was able to have a mutually respectful relationship with and she was comfortable with disclosure, she could tell them and ask them to support her in her wishes to whatever degree necessary. Some caregivers are very flexible with this and others are more rigid. Each individual woman will have to define her own comfort level. This pregnancy and birth can be a healing and empowering experience if she feels supported, is a partner in making informed decisions about her care, and is respected as knowing what is best for her.

She may enlist the support of loved ones, trusted friends or a doula to honor her birth plan and nurture her during this powerful time. A wonderful book by Penny Simkin is called The Birth Partner: Everything You Need to Know to Help a Woman Through Childbirth. This book is packed with information that will help a support person know what to expect and how to provide comfort measures in labor. Doulas can be found through local organizations or national organizations. Word of mouth is often a great way to find a doula or another woman who has experience attending women during their birth. Caregivers such as midwives and physicians, childbirth educators or prenatal yoga instructors may know of doulas in your area.

In our culture, media and belief systems, blame has been heavily shifted onto the victim. It is important that we work to deconstruct this and place blame where it belongs, on the perpetrator and the social belief systems that are at the core. We need to consider as well that those who make the rules and laws are those with the most power, and these statutes benefit them, not those who are powerless. This system makes it very difficult for victims to experience justice. Perpetrators of sexual assault and violence do not fit a certain profile and neither do their victims. The belief that victims "should have known better" than to be doing whatever they were doing, wearing whatever they were wearing or being wherever they were is erroneous. There is no right way to exist in order to prevent rape or sexual assault because the control is not in the victim's court. The blame is not theirs, it is the perpetrator's. It would be severely mentally disturbing and unhealthy for any individual to attempt to live in such manner as to not attract an assault because, as the statistics demonstrate, this would be impossible.

Responding to Abuse During Pregnancy from the National Clearinghouse on Family Violence. This is Canadian though it souces American journals. It is a comprehensive resource and applicable beyond the border. Canada is more progressive in addressing this issue and it could be questioned whether American statistics might be even worse than theirs given the weaker social support system in place, the deeper silence, the continuing violence, wars, occupations, the high poverty and crime rates here and on and on ...